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The passing of Yasodharā

Princess Yasodharā was the wife of Prince Siddhartha, before he renounced to achieve Buddhahood. Yasodharā gave birth to their only child, Rahulā, when she was 29. By that time, Prince Siddhārtha had grown disenchanted with household life after witnessing human suffering through the sights of an old man, a sick man, and a dead body. He decided to become an ascetic to seek a way out of human suffering. On the very day Rahulā was born, he secretly left the palace to become a homeless ascetic. Six years later, while meditating under a Bodhi tree while following the middle path (the noble eightfold path), he attained enlightenment and became a Sammā Sambuddha. Princess Yasodharā had no contact with her husband, the Buddha, for the next seven years. Eventually, she too joined the Buddha's dispensation as a Buddhist bhikkhunī (nun) and soon attained enlightenment as an Arahant.


Although there were several notable accounts of Yasodharā's life, one of the most notable was the moment before her Parinibbāna (total extinguishment of all aggregates) where she exchanged the last conversations with the Buddha.


At one point, the elder nun Yasodharā reflected on her life. She discovered, "Tonight, I will attain Parinibbāna (final liberation), but first, I will pay my respects to the Blessed One." Accompanied by five hundred elder nuns who had also attained Arahantship, she went to the Buddha and paid homage to him.


After paying homage, she said to the Buddha: "O Blessed One, who is the most exalted, your disciple has reached the age of 78. If you consider my age, it is clear that I am at the end of my life; I have reached the stage of being bent with age." Given that she was 78 years old at that time, and the Blessed One was also 78 years old, it is believed that this conversation took place about two years before the Blessed One attained Parinibbāna.


She continued to say: "I am like an old, worn-out cart, my life has aged and withered. The time I have left to live in this human world is exceedingly short. Giving all you up I will go: my refuge is made in myself. Blessed One, I will soon depart from this life and attain Parinibbāna.


What she mentioned to the Buddha is an important point for all of us to reflect on. As we approach the end of our lives, shouldn't we ensure that we have firmly established our faith and practice, i.e. until the attainment of Path and Fruition? This is extremely necessary to reflect on because, one day, death is inevitable, and whether young or old, once our kammic force is depleted, we must face death. At that critical moment, it is crucial to have our practice in place because, during the near-death moment, those who lack understanding of the Dhamma often panic and desperately grasp at anything they can, hoping to hold onto something as they sense themselves slipping away. If one clings to the wrong thing, it is certain that their future existences will be woeful. Therefore, one must make preparations to ensure they can rely on a strong foundation and pass away without worry or fear. That foundation is the practice of Dhamma.


So, if a preparation is made for this very moment, we should ideally be able to reach out and attain those higher, more exalted realms where you can even see the next Buddha again. However, the Buddha has warned that no form of existence is ultimately desirable. It is much more joyous to aspire to a state beyond all forms of existence where all suffering ends, like Yasodharā, who has reached the final liberation of Nibbāna without needing to worry about where one will be reborn again as this life ends.


As the end of her life approaches, it is not necessary for her minds to be filled with worry and anxiety and that’s why the elder nun Yasodharā said, "Death is now approaching me. Where there's no birth, no growing old, nor sickness and death, O Great Sage, I'm going to the unconditioned, which has no death. I have reached the final stage of life."


She continued by saying, "I have seen others come to you, confessing their wrongdoings with remorse and repentance, asking for your forgiveness, which you graciously granted. So, I also wish to seek forgiveness, if necessary." Yasodharā then asked, "O Blessed One, during the countless rounds of saṃsāra, if I have ever committed any offenses against you, I sincerely ask for your forgiveness."


Upon hearing this, the Buddha replied, "Tonight, you will enter Parinibbāna. What could I, the Buddha, say that would be more fitting than this?" So, what did he mean by this? The Buddha was implying that, for someone about to attain Parinibbāna, it is unnecessary for him to respond with words of forgiveness, as such a response would serve no further purpose as the Arahant's life is coming to total extinguishment


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So, it's noteworthy that when ordinary individuals or those of lower spiritual attainment, like stream-enterers, offend an Arahant or a higher noble person, they must seek forgiveness. Only by doing so can ordinary people achieve insight (magga-ñāṇa) to become stream-enterer, and stream-enterers, once-returners, or non-returners can progress to higher attainments till Arahantship. This is something that most meditators forget to be mindful of due to a lack of understanding. If one slanders, accuses, or speaks ill of accomplished practitioners (whether monks, nuns, or laypeople) who have attained Path and Fruition, whether knowingly or unknowingly, this kamma creates a blockage in one's practice. Until one resolves these wrongdoings by apologising, they cannot attain Path and Fruition in this lifetime, and if left unresolved, such kammic effects can cause detrimental consequences in future existences.


In a previous life, the Buddha during one of his Bodhisatta life had been born as a person named Munali. At one point, he falsely accused an innocent Pacceka Buddha (Silent Buddha) named Sarabhu, slandering him. This bad deed caused the Bodhisatta to suffer in various realms of misery for a long time. The residual effect of this past wrongdoing led to the Buddha facing slander in his current life by a woman named Sundari. While the Buddha was residing at the Jetavana monastery in Savatti, he and his monks regularly received generous offerings of food, robes, and other necessities, which increased his popularity in the area. This caused the local heretics to lose support and resources. Out of jealousy, they devised a plan to ruin the Buddha’s reputation by hiring a young and beautiful female heretic named Sundari to slander him. Sundari agreed to their scheme. When the Buddha’s lay disciples were leaving the monastery after listening to a sermon, Sundari would approach the monastery. When asked, she would claim she was going to spend the night with the Buddha. However, she would actually spend the night at a heretic's residence, later falsely claiming she had been with the Buddha. After some time, the heretics murdered Sundari and hid her body in a pile of rubbish near the Buddha’s chamber. They then reported her missing to the king of Kosala, who ordered a search. When Sundari's body was found at the monastery, the heretics spread the rumor that the Buddha's disciples were responsible for her death. This led to the citizens verbally abusing and humiliating the monks during their alms rounds. Eventually, the hired murderers and the heretics confessed their plot to the king and were punished. The Buddha’s reputation was restored, and the people of Savatti became even more devoted to him.


So, even for the Bodhisatta, who fulfilled the paramīs to his fullest extent, sometimes due to lack of mindfulness and understanding, sometimes slandered those who are noble. So, all of us practitioners have also wrongfully accused or slandered someone who is noble physically, verbally or mentally. So, I would urge all practitioners here to reflect on whether you may have certain acts or not and whether you have or not, it is important to seek forgiveness from Dhamma practitioners and especially your meditation teachers (because not everyone is perfect!).


Going back to the interaction between Yasodharā and the Buddha, since the elder nun was already at the end of her path, and there is no longer the insight of the Path or Fruition for her to cultivate. Furthermore, she was attaining Parinibbana, which means there was no more rebirth, and there won't be any further encounters with the Buddha in the cycle of samsara. Therefore, even if the Buddha said he forgave her, it wouldn't be significant anymore as that was their last meeting.


At that moment, the Buddha said, 'Show your miracles, and then attain Parinibbana. You know your time.' After receiving this instruction, the elder nun, Yasodharā, performed her miracles (supernormal powers) as she was declared by the Buddha to be the foremost among the nuns with supernormal powers.


In their previous lives, the Buddha and Yasodhara had fulfilled the perfections together. Yasodhara then said to the Buddha: 'I have performed significant acts of merits. My meeting with all the Buddhas, the World-Lords, was well-seen by you; my extensive service to them was for the sake of you, Great Sage'. It is important to note that her meritorious deeds were not about wealth in the human realm, divine realm, or the Brahma realm. They are the ten perfections (parami) such as generosity, virtue, and meditation that lead to either becoming an enlightened disciple (Sāvakabodhi), a solitary Buddha (Paccekabodhi), or a fully enlightened Buddha (Sammāsambodhi). Yasodhara had fulfilled these perfections with the intention of aiding the Buddha’s enlightenment.


She then said, "O Sage, recall the good kamma ,which formerly was done by me; that merit was heaped up by me for the sake of you, Lord Buddha. May the Buddha remember the merits I have performed for his enlightenment.' Look at how pure her intentions were—selfless and dedicated. How admirable is this mindset? There was no selfishness as all her meritorious deeds were to support the enlightenment of the Buddha. Yasodhara continued to cultivate these merits, not only avoiding unwholesome actions herself but she also restrained the Bodhisatta from doing so. Therefore, reflecting on this, you should also consider whether you are supporting the wholesome practices of your partners, friends, family members, and others you care about, or if you are pulling them away from that path. When two people (or a group of people) travel the journey of samsara together, if one starts doing what is improper, then they must support by correcting each other to get onto the right path and to cultivate wholesome deeds during the time they are together.


Yasodhara said, 'For the Buddha’s supreme knowledge, I have even sacrificed my life to perform these merits.' Over countless lifetimes, the Buddha had offered Yasodhara to others as their wife or slave. Even though she was offered, Yasodhara never wavered in her mind and never felt fear or resentment. Why? 'For the sake of the Buddha’s supreme knowledge, I never harboured betrayal or destruction in my mind,' she said. How strong her mind was! Even though she was given away, she didn’t lose her resolve.


Another thing she said was, 'For the Buddha’s supreme knowledge, I have been offered as a slave many times across countless lifetimes.' Despite being offered as a slave, Yasodhara’s mind never faltered, and she never felt resentment or fear. Did she ever say, 'I can’t go on, I can’t bear this'? No, she didn’t.


Looking at today, no yogi would be offered as a slave. Isn’t being a slave considered a low status? Even when she was lowered to such a status, did her mind waver? No. Because she was focused on the supreme knowledge of the Buddha. Look at how strong the unconditional love and compassion were between them. Was this compassion mixed with attachment? No. But if you act with attachment, unlike Yasodhāra, you will repeatedly encounter the other party with a troubled mind as it is rooted in attachments. If you meet again, the same problems may recur, causing you to encounter mental adversities once more. Therefore, if you establish a life free of sorrow now, you will avoid such sadness in the future. As the relationship between Yasodhāra and the Buddha was not based on attachnment but true mettā, devoid of craving, one can support the other's practice without 'conditions and causes' involved.


Yosadharā also said the following:


"I kept from misconduct and hindered the nine impossible places, sacrificing life itself for the sake of you, Great Hero.


I gave myself to be a wife several tens of billions of times and was not distressed by that, all for you, O Great Sage.


I served you several tens of billions of times, and I was not distressed by that either.


I provided food for you several tens of billions of times without distress. I have given you all my lives countless times and am prepared to liberate myself from fear, giving up my life once more.


Great Sage, for your sake, I do not conceal the things of a woman, including numerous clothes of varied types and ornaments affixed to my limbs.


I have given up wealth and grain, villages, small towns, fields, and even sons and daughters for you, O Great Sage.


Elephants, horses, cows, slaves, and servant-women have all been given up beyond count. Whatever I am told to give as alms to beggars, I give without distress, experiencing diverse types of disease in this much-varied existence for you, Great Hero.


Attaining comforts does not thrill me, nor do troubles distress me; I remain balanced everywhere for you, O Great Sage.


After experiencing both pleasure and pain along the way, the Great Sage reached Awakening—the Teaching for which Buddha strived. Through our encounters with the World-Lords, whether you were Brahmā or Gotama Buddha, World’s Leader, I performed extensive service for you, always as your attendant."


Finally, she said, 'For the sake of the Buddha’s supreme knowledge, I have sacrificed my life countless times.' So, if she was willing to give her life, is there anything else she couldn’t offer? She didn’t fear death or seek to escape danger. How strong was her mind? Thus, I encourage you all to be steadfast in your mind when doing good deeds. A strong mind yields strong results. If your mind wavers, the results will be uncertain. So, be mindful of that.


"I provided vast alms to the Buddhas, O great king. I am constantly engaged in service to the Buddhas, whose number is eight hundred and fifty trillion, plus an additional seven hundred eighty-five billion Buddhas. I have also provided extensive alms to these revered beings. Moreover, I serve lonely Buddhas who are passionless, numbering six hundred and forty million. My service extends to countless followers of the Buddhas, who are free of defilements and completely stainless. I am dedicated to practicing the teachings of those who are well-versed in the teachings, doing so with ease both in this world and beyond." So, she was a person who have been devoting her life to the success of the Buddha over uncountable number of lifetimes.


In the end, Yasodharā said: "Being in Best Buddha's presence was a very good thing for me. The three knowledges are attained; I have done what the Buddha taught! The woman who’s giving herself for the merit of the Great Sage, attains companionship with him, and unconditioned Nibbāna. The past is thoroughly destroyed, and the present and the future; all of my kamma is destroyed: I worship your feet, my Lord."


How noble her actions were! So, one important lesson we can learn here is that all meritorious actions done without attachment lead to liberation from attachments. All her actions were for the Bodhisatta and were not based on attachment, but on unconditional love and compassion for the Bodhisatta's future Buddhahood attainment.


From this account, what we can reflect is we see that many people nowadays are stuck in a transactional mindset: "I give you this, so you must give me that." This mentality hinders one's path toward liberation. This issue is not limited to human relationships but extends to material possessions as well. For example, "I buy this, so it must give me this feeling." When the feeling fades, one chases after something else. These problems arise from the inherent attachment all sentient beings cultivate, both knowingly and unknowingly. This attachment also extends from a mindset characterised a reluctance to meditate, follow sīla, or practice Dhamma. Therefore, it is crucial for everyone who is practicing towards liberation to be mindful of this issue. The problem is your own defilements, nothing else.


From this legend, we must also learn to cultivate humility. A person who was so pure and always giving for the Buddha had the courage to ask for forgiveness from the Buddha in her last existence, even though all she had done in her past lives was for him. If you were in her place, you might think, "Why should I apologise? I did everything for him." However, this is not the mindset of noble people. They recognise their own wrongdoings and ask for forgiveness when needed, even if none is apparent. Thus, as non-Arahants, we must show humility in our practice and conduct, be mindful of our mental, physical, and verbal wrongdoings, and apologise when necessary. If there is someone you need to apologise to, consider this your reminder.


Lastly, my advice to all, a strong one, is: "If you cannot be of service to the Dhamma, then do not disturb those who are following the Dhamma."


May you be one who serves the Dhamma and commits to acts of detachment courageously, achieving liberation in this lifetime.


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